New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday. It still has all of the wonder of winter magic coupled with a reason to celebrate and be merry. A time of reflection and mental/emotional preparation for the new year.
But, I hate New Year’s Resolutions. At least, the way in which pop culture interprets it. Every year we come up with these lofty goals that have little to do with us actually enjoying the journey of the year. Goals to lose 20lbs, get better organized, and spend more time with friends and family all get lost in the mix of the life we refuse to deviate from. Why are we being wasteful? Buying new planners and green smoothies we know we probably won’t even touch?
These types of resolutions have done nothing but pose as the first unaccomplished tasks a few months after the clock struck midnight. I don’t think of a resolution as being a goal. Instead, I prefer to view the new year as a way of focusing my energy. I ask myself:
What do I want to be true about myself by the end of the year?
Last year, the answer to this question was “I want to be stable” financially, emotionally, within my relationships, etc. There are a multitude of ways to answer this question which allowed me to reassess every aspect of my life.
Create a question to ask yourself.
Instead of making the resolution, “Let’s get more organized,” I created the question to ask myself when stress and anxiety start to set in, “How can I stabilize?” I wanted to be mindful of my spending-to-saving ratio to stabilize financially. This question also pertained to my emotional energy and being aware of the ways in which I was overly expending myself. Learning ways to say no, giving myself space to rest between the yeses and prioritizing my NEEDS over the WANTS of others were all actions spurred from asking myself this question.
Acknowledge those personal goals that could then challenge the answer to that question.
We all have ongoing goals that are not confined to the calendar year. So you have to ask yourself, what have you been working toward that could challenge the person you want to be by the end of the year? If your question is "How can I be more intentional?" but a personal goal is to say "Yes!" more frequently, you will have to start considering the boundaries of those yeses.
As a way to put my energy and intention out there, here is my New Year’s Resolution:
What do you want to be true about yourself by the end of the year? I want to be a compassionate person.
Question to ask myself: Am I holding space for both my own emotions and how others communicate their emotions? I need to acknowledge that my interpretation of another person's experience may not be what is true for that individual.
What goal potentially challenges this resolution? A personal goal is to take short, solo hikes and trips in order to dive into my solitude and reflect on my own emotions. I could easily push my emotions onto others in my reflections during these trips, so it will be during these trips that I need to ask myself the above question the most.
So what do you want to be true about yourself by the end of the year? What will be the question you ask yourself throughout this year? In what ways can you hold yourself accountable to this idyllic self while also pursuing other goals?
#goals #newyears #newyearsresolution #2021 #reset #refocus #saveyourenergy #showupforyourself #dothework #selfhelp